Saturday, June 09, 2007 @1:14 AM
Realli been a damn long time since I last blogged. In the end, it seems that blogspot is still the best buddy to rant to (since it's 24/7 anyway)
Been rather bz these few months. Not that anything productive came out from the time spent but oh well *shrug*
To think bout it, what should you do when you realize that lies existed even earlier than you think? Do you think bout it and tell urself, "That was some time ago and things have changed" and pretend as if nothing has happened?
How would you feel if somebody turns around and tell you, "im sorry, I did lie to you. Perhaps I'm not worth your love and time." What would you do? what would you say? Cling on and believe that love can make you forget and forgive? Or would you tell urself that you are not signficant to this person and just turn-tail?
They say back every emotions you have, every wandering thoughts you have with trust and you will realize that things can be rather simple. It's really mind-boggling: how does trust which seems to work one way gain reciprocation via the other?
I can be a good advisor to others, I can tell myself that everything is worth it, that there IS a future but if you don't think so, you place insignificance on my emotions, who is to blame? Is it me for trying too hard, for imposing too much on you or for being too silly? I thot promises work both ways? After all these while, all those pain, I'm still so blunt, so naive, so uncontrolled.
Intoleralance for stupid people has been raised to a new level, but in the end, am I the stupid one?
Expecations... not obligations. In a certain person's words, "no duty of care owed" Yet, knowing that it hurts me so and going on to do it, isnt it omissions? Argh. Wat rubbish.
I hate the truth. Especially when it hits me when I least expect it. AND especially when it explains a whole lot with explicit, excruciating clarity.
When the wall is imminient, I still banged my head against it. Intelligent indeed. Definitely elephant.